I Am Afraid of Losing My Persona Every Day - Chapter 53

Zhiyu had initially intended to return home early but found herself sleeping deeply until late morning, overcome by exhaustion. She hadn’t informed her parents of her visit, wanting it to be a surprise. Glancing at her still-sleeping lover beside her, Zhiyu carefully slipped out of bed, moving quietly to avoid waking her.

The night before, she had mentioned her plan to return home to You Jinyuan, though she hadn’t asked if she wanted to join. After completing her morning routine in silence, Zhiyu found that You Jinyuan, who had been lying in bed just moments ago, was now crouched by their luggage, selecting clothes.

“Jinyuan? Don’t you want to rest some more?” Zhiyu asked.

You Jinyuan seemed particularly exhausted the night before. When she woke up this morning, her waist ached so much she nearly lost her balance, and her legs felt numb. She picked out a simple skirt outfit and said, “No need for more sleep. Aren’t you going home today?”

“But you—” Zhiyu started, then stopped, her lips parted slightly in bewilderment. Realization dawned, and a delighted smile spread across her face. “Are you coming home with me?!”

You Jinyuan, puzzled by Zhiyu’s strong reaction, responded, “Yes, of course. Why else would I be here in M City if not to accompany you back?”

Though initially hesitant and feeling unprepared, ever since agreeing to attend the competition with Zhiyu, You Jinyuan had decided to join her in visiting their families afterward. After all, Zhiyu had already met hers, and it wouldn’t be long before her family started urging her again to bring the girl home.

For Zhiyu, this news was undoubtedly exciting. However, once the initial thrill subsided, anxiety set in. She began to fret about things like wishing she had informed her parents earlier or what gifts to bring along. Zhiyu’s nervousness amused You Jinyuan.

“Relax, shouldn’t I be the one feeling anxious?” You Jinyuan teased.

Hearing this, Zhiyu squeezed her hand reassuringly and said, “Don’t worry, my parents have great personalities; they’re easy to get along with.”

Zhiyu’s parents were high school teachers, living in housing allocated by the school from earlier times. Unlike the modern skyscrapers of the city, their residence was in an old residential building with a more communal courtyard feel. Silver maple trees lined the streets, shedding thick layers of yellow leaves on the ground. Sanitation workers swept diligently, only for fresh leaves to flutter down and scatter across the pavement with each gust of wind.

It was a weekend, and the neighborhood primarily housed veteran schoolteachers. Zhiyu, having grown up here, encountered several familiar faces along the way who warmly greeted her upon noticing her return. You Jinyuan observed their interactions with a slight smile, not speaking until they were out of earshot. “You must have been that well-behaved child everyone adored when you were young.”

Zhiyu raised an eyebrow, drawing out sweetly, “And am I not still like that now, Big Sis?”

The overly saccharine tone made You Jinyuan cringe. Unable to bear it, she exclaimed, “Stop talking already!”

Zhiyu giggled, her eyes curving into crescents. It was hard to imagine how You Jinyuan once thought Zhiyu portrayed a mature, independent character archetype; blame could only be placed on the actress’s remarkably accurate portrayal.

“That’s our building up ahead,” Zhiyu said, pointing. Carrying the fruits she bought along the way, You Jinyuan’s nerves involuntarily tensed up. This was her first time meeting Zhiyu’s parents, after all.

Zhiyu lived on the second floor, and as they approached the building, the aroma of cooking wafted from the old kitchen exhaust fan. “We’ve arrived just in time for dinner,” she said cheerfully, quickening her pace to reach the doorstep and knock.

“Who is it?” a faint voice echoed from inside, followed by the door creaking open with a click. You Jinyuan tightened her grip on the plastic bag handles.

The door revealed a middle-aged man wearing glasses, with a few strands of white hair at his temples. Seeing Zhiyu, he initially seemed taken aback, but then his stern expression softened, and he asked joyously, “Little Yu? Why didn’t you let us know before suddenly returning?”

“Little Yu’s back?” The door opened wider, revealing a middle-aged woman behind him, holding a spatula and wearing an apron—Zhiyu’s mother.

“Mom, Dad, I wanted to surprise you,” Zhiyu said, subtly taking hold of You Jinyuan’s wrist and gently pulling her closer.

Only then did the man notice the woman accompanying them. “Is this Little Yu’s friend?”

Smiling warmly, You Jinyuan introduced herself, “Hello, Uncle. My name is You Jinyuan, and I’m Zhiyu’s…friend.”

“Don’t linger outside; come in and talk,” Mother Zhi urged, mindful of the dishes still cooking on the stove. “Honestly, you didn’t even let us know you were coming back with a friend. If I had known earlier, I would’ve prepared more food.”

Zhiyu noticed the subtle hesitation during her lover’s introduction and glanced at her without saying anything, silently tightening her grip on Jinyuan’s hand.

With their arrival, Mother Zhi hastily added two extra dishes to the meal. Father Zhi set the table, poured You Jinyuan a cup of tea, and treated her cordially, remarking, “Little Yu never brings friends home, so I was worried she might have trouble making connections outside.”

“Dad—” Zhiyu interjected.

Smiling, You Jinyuan responded, “Zhiyu is actually very popular.”

The cuisine in M City is light and mild. Concerned it might not suit You Jinyuan’s taste, the parents frequently checked if she enjoyed the dishes while gently scolding Zhiyu for not giving prior notice about bringing a friend. They clearly took You Jinyuan as a close friend of Zhiyu, showing attentive care towards her.

Midway through the meal, Zhiyu cleared her throat and put down her chopsticks, feeling it necessary to clarify. “Mom, Dad, I didn’t explain properly earlier. Jinyuan is my girlfriend—the romantic kind of girlfriend.”

Father Zhi had just taken a sip of water, expecting something different from what followed. The sudden revelation made him choke, coughing uncontrollably until Zhiyu hurriedly patted his back for several moments before he recovered.

“Girlfriend…?” His gaze finally shifted to You Jinyuan for a closer inspection. Having taught for decades, he was among the first generation exposed to new ideas and remained open-minded despite his age. Initially, his courteous demeanor towards You Jinyuan stemmed from assuming she was merely Zhiyu’s friend. Now, with this revelation, his scrutiny intensified, focusing on her character rather than gender.

While You Jinyuan’s appearance was undeniably appealing, appearances can be deceiving. As this was their first meeting, he knew little about her, making him understandably cautious. Worriedly, he also couldn’t help but scold Zhiyu internally for never mentioning her relationship at home; what if she had been misled or deceived?

“How did you two meet? How long have you been together?”

You Jinyuan and Zhiyu exchanged glances, preparing to respond, when Mother Zhi interrupted, “Alright, alright, don’t make it seem like an interrogation during their first meeting. Ease up, you might scare the young lady away—and then who’d compensate your daughter for losing her girlfriend?”

Mother Zhi’s reaction contrasted sharply with Father Zhi’s; she smiled warmly at You Jinyuan and used serving chopsticks to place a piece of spareribs onto her plate. “Eat more, don’t let his questions dampen your mood. I’ve always supported free love; we won’t interfere with how young people conduct their relationships.”

“Thank you, Auntie…”

“Mom! You’re the best!” Zhiyu playfully hugged her arm, exaggerating her affection.

After Mother Zhi’s intervention, Father Zhi’s expression remained somewhat somber, but he didn’t speak further, silently continuing to eat his meal.

Following dinner, Zhiyu took the initiative to clean up. Meanwhile, Mother Zhi prepared fruit platters and placed them in the living room. You Jinyuan felt slightly uneasy sitting on the sofa, with Zhiyu’s father beside her. The noon news played on the television. After a while, the man stood up, seemingly ready to leave. Before You Jinyuan could sigh in relief, she unexpectedly heard him say, “Jinyuan, can I have a moment to talk with you?”

Perhaps due to years of being a teacher, even without showing any emotion, he exuded an authoritative presence. As You Jinyuan gazed at his silvering temples, thoughts of her own parents surfaced, suddenly easing her anxiety. She realized that his concern stemmed solely from worry for his daughter.

Zhiyu, having finished washing the dishes, emerged into the living room only to find both You Jinyuan and her father missing. “Mom, where did they go?”

“They went into the study to talk.”

Hearing this, Zhiyu instinctively feared her father might be causing trouble. Ignoring her mother’s attempts to calm her, she hastily approached the study door. It was tightly shut; she tried turning the handle, but it was locked.

“Dad! Jinyuan?” Her knocks vibrated against the wooden door, and moments later, it swung open to reveal You Jinyuan’s familiar beautiful face. With a smile in her eyes, she asked, “What’s the rush?”

Father Zhi emerged from behind, witnessing Zhiyu’s anxious demeanor. He let out an ambiguous snort before walking away.

“What did my dad say to you? Did he say anything offensive?”

“No,” You Jinyuan shook her head. As Zhiyu prepared to ask more, You Jinyuan gently tugged at her sleeve, suggesting, “Let’s discuss this later.”

The woman’s expression remained unchanged, still carrying a faint smile. Though unsure of their conversation, Zhiyu could tell by her demeanor that likely nothing concerning had transpired, so she suppressed her curiosity.

They spent the afternoon chatting casually at home, finally leaving after dinner. Under the dim glow of neighborhood streetlights, golden ginkgo leaves carpeted the ground. Now alone with Jinyuan, Zhiyu seized the opportunity to inquire about their study room discussion.

“He didn’t ask much; your uncle was just concerned and wanted to know how we met, things like that.”

“Just that?” Zhiyu found it hard to believe, well-aware of her father’s stubborn nature.

“Mm-hmm, just that.” You Jinyuan’s lips curved slightly, her tone relaxed.

“He didn’t ask you about…anything else?” Zhiyu assumed her father’s serious nature would prompt him to inquire more about their future plans. She hesitated before cautiously broaching the topic, feeling embarrassed even if it was merely speculation; asking outright might risk coming across as presumptuous if he hadn’t brought it up.

The smile on You Jinyuan’s face widened further, but under the dim night, it wasn’t clearly visible. “No, nothing else. When do you have time to accompany me home again? My family has been urging us.”

The swift change of subject caught Zhiyu off guard, leaving her momentarily stunned. “Ah… I’m available anytime.”

“My sister still thinks we’re pretending, so I need to clarify things with her…”

Their silhouettes stretched long beneath the streetlight, as the previous conversation seamlessly transitioned into new topics. Zhiyu’s focus shifted entirely to thoughts of meeting You Jinyuan’s parents, unaware that her initial guess was indeed accurate.

Her father, conservative yet open-minded, most detested those who treated relationships casually. And coincidentally, You Jinyuan had given the perfect response.

“What do you plan to do with Little Yu going forward? Is it just for fun and games? Jinyuan, please understand, given your family’s circumstances, you may have the luxury to indulge, but that wouldn’t be fair to Little Yu.”

“No, Uncle, from the moment I confessed my feelings to Zhiyu, I knew my love was one where I want to spend my entire life with her.”

“If you’re still concerned, time will prove everything.”